It’s Time to Panic: Computer Simulation Predicts an End to Humanity in 250 Million Years 

ESB Professional /
ESB Professional /

Climate change fanatics have a new reason to panic, and no amount of taxation or environmental mandates will save them. According to a computer simulation, humanity is doomed no matter how many plastic bags are banned across the globe. 

In school, we learned about Pangea, the super continental land mass where life, as we understand it, first drew breath on solid ground. 

Pangea existed around 299 to 273 million years ago, uniting almost all of Earth’s land masses. Its formation began even earlier, around 419.2 to 358.9 million years ago. Key landmasses that contributed to Pangea included Laurentia (North America), Baltica (Eastern Europe), Gondwana (which eventually split into South America, India, Africa, Australia, and Antarctica), and Euramerica. The Angaran craton, now known as Siberia, later joined with Euramerica and completed the supercontinent. 

Around 200 million years ago, during the Early Jurassic Epoch, Pangea broke apart. This breakup led to the formation of the modern continents and the Atlantic and Indian oceans as we know them today. This separation of landmasses into their current positions occurred through a gradual process called continental drift. 

But now, it seems that continental drift will end us all. A computer simulation predicts that the continents will move again, forming a new super land mass, Pangea Ultima. And all this will happen a mere 250 million years from now.  

Ironically, that’s how long ago scientists think the original Pangea broke apart. 

Experts warn that most of the planet will be uninhabitable by this time. Your gas-powered vehicle will already have been the undoing of humanity. 

Researcher Alexander Farnsworth cautions, “The newly-emerged supercontinent would effectively create a triple whammy, comprising the continentality effect, hotter sun and more CO2 in the atmosphere, of increasing heat for much of the planet.” He goes on to note that temperatures between 40 to 50 degrees Celsius (that’s between 104 and 122 degrees Fahrenheit for those who missed that class in school), along with elevated levels of humidity, would create a “mostly hostile environment devoid of food and water sources for mammals.” 

Researchers predict that only 8 to 16 percent of the world will be habitable. But those already-dismal percentages will be further diminished when Pangea Ultima forms, with volcanic eruptions the new norm, the sun grilling the planet, and deadly levels of CO2. 

However, climate change activists insist that the upcoming extinction event should not overshadow the vital work of banning gas stoves. Study co-author Dr Eunice Lo warned, “While we are predicting an uninhabitable planet in 250 million years, today we are already experiencing extreme heat that is detrimental to human health.” She adds that it is “vitally important” to keep the current climate crisis at the center of global attention. 

Progressives were momentarily side-tracked by the revelation that plastic straws will not directly end life on planet Earth, but they were quick to recover and adjust the message. While natural geological processes largely govern the creation of Pangea Ultima, alarmists warn that it’s crucial to consider how human-induced climate change might influence this distant event.  

If unchecked, human-caused carbon emissions could double natural CO₂ levels by the time Pangea Ultima forms, worsening extreme temperatures and environmental conditions on the supercontinent. Additionally, scientists warn that manmade climate change triggers “feedback loops,” such as reduced ice reflectivity and increasing global warming, intensifying the challenges faced by mammals, including humans, in adapting to the harsh conditions of Pangea Ultima.  

Clever people understand that the upcoming continental shift is just the next evolution of Earth, completing a cycle and starting a new one. Throughout the 4.6 billion years of Earth’s history, five major mass extinction events wiped out an overwhelming majority of species living at the time. Each event included climate change in some form, including volcanic activity and the asteroid impact that killed 75% of species around 75 million years ago.  

Archaeologists have yet to discover fossilized remains of SUVs and ceiling fans, leaving many to wonder if climate change is a naturally occurring phenomenon.