Before they showed up at the Democrat Party’s freak show convention this week, Kamala Harris and Tampon Tim Walz did a bus tour to drive to Chicago. This was an opportunity for Harris and Walz to stop in small towns and pretend that they were relatable to the sort of American people that they dismissively think of as “the poors.” It was a total Festival of Cringe. Did you realize that Kamala Harris was such an elitist snob that she can’t pronounce “Doritos?”
We learned that and much more about the personal character of Kamala and Tampon Tim on this astroturfing bus tour. The planning meetings that the campaign staff held on the tour bus must have been fascinating. We imagine they were like this:
Campaign Staffer 1: What’s something that Trump always does out in public that draws hundreds of adoring fans toward him?
Campaign Staffer 2: Um… visit a gas station?
Campaign Staffer 1: Perfect! We’ll stop at a Sheetz in Pittsburg and then have Kamala and Doug pick up some sort of snacks like the ones that the poors always eat! It will make people think she’s a normal person.
Kamala (from the back of the bus): Pepé! Come top off my Chardonnay and rub my bunions. NOW!
Campaign Staffer 2: Is there even anyone named Pepé on this bus?
Campaign Staffer 1: No. Oh, dear God. It’s only 9:30 a.m. and she’s already as drunk as a skunk.
Campaign Staffer 2: Don’t make eye contact with her!
Campaign Staffer 1: I guess it doesn’t matter. It’s just 60 seconds in and out of a gas station for a fake photo op. What could go wrong?
Campaign Staffer 2: Good point. It’s not as if anyone in the public is going to talk to her and realize how loaded she is. Hey! We should have Doug get her some chips and Tampon Tim get her some corn nuts.
Campaign Staffer 1: Awesome! LFG!
And so, the plan was hatched. Kamala staggered into the Sheetz in Pittsburgh. You could have heard a pin drop. No one comes up to her to talk to her or shake her hand. She refers to her husband, nanny predator Doug Emhoff, as “Dougie” when he brings her a bag of chips. She pronounces the brand of chips as “DOOR-EEE-TOES.” As if the rich and pampered, drunken princess has ever eaten a corn chip in her life.
She’s just a normal girl who relates to everyday Americans! DOOR-EEE-TOES are probably her second favorite snack after pork rinds, guys!
Then, Tampon Tim messed the whole thing up. He forgot that he was supposed to fetch Kamala a bag of corn nuts, and instead handed her the exact same bag of DOOR-EEE-TOES that Dougie the nanny impregnator just gave her. This is what happens when you don’t practice the rehearsals for your fake, staged campaign events.
The entire cringe-fest was like night and day compared to when President Donald Trump goes out anywhere in public. If Trump walks into a gas station or a pizza joint, he gets mobbed by everyday people. Everyone wants to shake his hand, hug him, or take a selfie with him because he is recognized as a true man of the people.
Donald Trump has an uncanny ability to meet anyone and immediately make a personal connection with them. Kamala Harris is a pampered phony with a substance abuse problem who avoids the people as if they have the plague.
Elitist snobs like Kamala and Tampon Tim can’t even go to a gas station and act like regular Americans:
Every road trip needs a snack break.
Doritos acquired. I got you, @KamalaHarris. pic.twitter.com/5nXfEARqwF
— Tim Walz (@Tim_Walz) August 18, 2024
